Small Changes

Sometimes I forget it's the little things that make a huge difference to the detail oriented child.

I get it.

I like detail.

If there's a small piece of dirt on my carpet, a hair in my shower, you can bet my eye is going to zero in on it and immediately clean (not a clean freak - just notice the little things).

So it's not surprise to me that my daughter, who already struggles with out of routine, out of normal changes, would notice a detail and be bothered.

Example:  I had a huge, green, painted & laminated Christmas tree on the downstairs bathroom wall this Christmas.  I had big plans for it that never happened.  Anyhow, tonight, while Natalee was in the shower I realized it was still up and took it down.  Note 1 - don't do things "behind" the SPD/Asperger child's back.  If I'd talked to Natalee about taking it down before doing so then the ensuing discussions and confusion following would have been much less.  As it was, her dad finally negotiated her concern & upset into a plan to get big white paper and make a new poster for the wall this weekend....oh well, never mind the plans for the vinyl sign I had for that spot.

Example:  Tonight at Awana was Hawaiian/Tropical Night. 
ME: "Natalee, tonight is a special night at Awana.  It's Hawaiian night - you can wear a flowery necklace, your sun glasses, a hat."
NATALEE: "No!  I has to wear my Puggles shirt!"
ME: "Yeah, sure, you can wear your Puggles shirt and something special like a flower necklace or a flower in your hair or sunglasses."
NATALEE:  "No!  I has to wear my Puggles shirt and my blue Puggles bow and get my backpack to go to see Miss Amee (her leader)."
ME: "But why don't we at least put a flower in....okay, yes, honey...that sounds great."

To Natalee "fun nights" aren't "fun."  They aren't traumatizing, she doesn't fly off the handle (maybe if I'd made her wear something different), she copes fairly well - she just fails to see their humor.  Black & white - no gray in the middle!

Being "black & white" isn't all bad...having a very defined sense of what's right & wrong.  It's just another little difference that makes this big world a smidgen harder to understand.