My Testimony

The sensory smart mommy has been absent from the world of blogger for a few weeks now.  I haven't abandoned you all (my few faithful followers).  I've been doing a lot of soul searching and praying over our new lifestyle and just how important it is to our family.  Let me back up...

A month ago our dear babysitter arrived home from a Nature's Sunshine conference in Hawaii and gave us her resignation.  It wasn't easy for her to give or for me to receive.  However, as I listened to her talk about the next phase in her life I felt a strange peace...the peace that only God can give.  I've long since prayed about staying home with my children.  I've been praying the same prayer since Natalee was 8 weeks old and I was preparing to go back to work: "Lord God, if it be your will for me to stay home with my children please lead me to that place.  Please let it be You and not me.  Please help me follow Your will and not mine.  But please be obvious because I'm sometimes thick-headed."  Well, the prayer has gone something like that over the last three years....maybe not those exact words but pretty close! 

When Lora Jean resigned she said, "what will you do?"  So, for some reason I spilled out my dream to her...to stay home with my children.  To resign from my "mission field" of teaching public school and do a little preschool/daycare in my home.  To work on growing my knowledge of herbals and natural living and to protect and teach my family as well as I can in the process. 
Mike wasn't with me and in fact worked late into the night after Lora Jean and I's discussion so after the children went to bed I settled down with my Bible and my thoughts and delved in.  Let me be clear...do I believe it's a sin to be a working mother?  Absolutely not.  I just feel like God has called me home at this point in my life.  But I also believe that everything that's led me to this point was part of His perfect and intricate plan: 

• Learning to be a teacher of special learners...being given a special learner for my own.
• Praying for and finding Lora Jean a mere week before school started in 2009...among other blessings, Lora Jean helping lead us to a more natural lifestyle.
• Working in the mission field of a public school for 4 years...deciding homeschooling might be a real option for our lifestyle.
• Having other family that also chooses natural foods and herbal remedies...not feeling like such an outcast and having other valuable resources to turn to.

So after an evening of praying and reading I went to bed pretty certain about what I was supposed to do.  Quit my job. *gulp*  How was I ever going to sell Mike?  Don't get me wrong...we've discussed this at length.  He's known my heart since I started praying this ^ prayer...he's prayed for me and our family in the same fashion.  But it's never been "time."  There are bills to pay and we've always had Lora Jean so the issue was never pressing.  But now....
So I texted a couple of my prayer warriors and asked them to pray specifically for Mike's response to finding out Lora Jean was resigning.  And when I told him in the van the next morning on the way to drop the children off he promptly said, "I guess this is the sign we've been waiting for that you should stay home with the kids."
Say what?  Again...the peace that passes understanding came right over me and I knew it was Him, not me.  So we committed to praying about it, and pray we did for 3 weeks.  We prayed hard when I got my contract and we realized I had to sign or resign by March 31st.  Mike had concerns...his biggest ones were Natalee's therapy services and how well I would get along without any adult interaction throughout the day.  I was flattered he was concerned about me.  Overall, the prayers of my heart prevailed though, and with great peace and excitement I resigned from my position as early childhood special education teacher. 

It's interesting to me how Christ can take all the uncertainty out of something that could be so scary, like walking away from my contracted job and does something wonderful.  Like this: 

 

Within days of my resignation He filled my 4 spots for my in home daycare and preschool.  He led me, the procrastinator, to complete an enrollment packet for my new clientele. He's piqued others interest in Nature's Sunshine products and is encouraging me to not sweep our herbal lifestyle under the rug but rather to speak boldly of it.  I know that Satan is on the prowl and ready to tromp on the joy that is happening in our home but we will certainly speak boldly AGAINST him and triumph the Lord through all that we do.  My excitement over our future is huge but I do see signs of Satan's presence.  My struggle to not buy every little thing I think I need right now (to start the preschool and to stock my herbal 'store'); the little uncertainty I've had over making the preschool fit well in our home....

but the Lord is prevailing through this all and sticking close to me so that I can work through this things.  So instead I'm making a yard sale list of things to keep my eyes out for this summer that I'd like for preschool...and Mike didn't flip out when I asked if we could put his treasured DVD collection in CD books and use the DVD shelf for preschool supplies (have I mentioned how awesome he's been about this?).  

So there you have my long and rambling testimony (did you expect anything but long and rambling?).  I'm excited to be back in the blogging world now that you all know my deep secret! :)  And excited to keep you up-to-date on how we make a sensory smart preschool/daycare work here in our little home full of love!